The Show Must Go On: People-Pleasing in the Events Industry

In the events world, we’re taught that the show must go on and to keep everything behind the scenes. It’s a mindset that helps us navigate high-stakes environments with grace and professionalism. But when that becomes the default—when we apply it to how we show up in every interaction—it starts to wear us down.

Over time, this mindset can morph into people-pleasing. We say yes when we mean no. We hide how we’re really feeling. We become the calm in the storm, even when we’re quietly unraveling. Many of us are rewarded for our ability to over-function without complaint, but that kind of emotional labor comes at a cost. It leads to masking, burnout, and a slow erosion of self-trust.

I see this every day in my coaching practice. Brilliant, high-achieving professionals who have built careers on being the fixer, the steady hand, the go-to person—but who feel exhausted, resentful, and unsure how to reclaim their time or energy without letting someone down. The habit of people-pleasing is so ingrained, it can be hard to see it for what it is.

But here’s the truth: you can lead without losing yourself. You can succeed without constantly self-sacrificing. The first step is noticing the patterns that no longer serve you and learning how to shift them with clarity and care. That’s exactly what we do in my course, Breaking the Habit of People-Pleasing. It’s designed for professionals who are ready to stop over-functioning and start showing up in a way that’s more sustainable, honest, and aligned.

If you’re ready to stop masking and start leading with more ease and self-respect, I’d love to support you. Learn more and join the course here: www.breakingthehabitofpeoplepleasing.com

#RobynneWeaverCoaching #PeoplePleasing #EventProfs #LeadershipCoach #BurnoutRecovery

No Immediate Yeses: A Boundary Practice for the Recovering People-Pleaser

By Robynne Weaver, Certified Leadership Coach

For a long time, my automatic response to any request, from a last-minute favor to a “quick” extra project, was an enthusiastic yes.

Yes, I can help.
Yes, I’ll stay late.
Yes, that’s fine.

I said yes because I wanted to be useful. I wanted to be liked, easygoing, reliable. I said yes even when I was exhausted. Even when I didn’t have the time, energy, or desire. And I know I’m not alone.

One of the most powerful shifts I’ve made in my recovery from people-pleasing is this simple but radical practice:

No immediate yeses.

Instead of defaulting to yes, I pause. I give myself time. I say things like:

• “Let me check my calendar and get back to you.”

• “I’ll need a day to think about that.”

• “Can I circle back with an answer by tomorrow?”

That pause might seem small, but it’s everything. It’s the moment I come back to me—to my needs, my values, and my reality—before committing to someone else’s.

Here’s what “No Immediate Yeses” does:

✅ It builds space for discernment—so you can check in with your body and your bandwidth.
✅ It honors your nervous system—interrupting the stress-fueled reflex to over-accommodate.
✅ It reinforces self-trust—because you’re practicing decisions that include, not bypass, yourself.

And here’s the magic: you can still say yes. But it’s a slower, wiser yes—one that doesn’t come at the cost of your peace, energy, or authenticity.

If you’ve been trying to set better boundaries or reclaim your time, this is a powerful place to start. Try it for a week: commit to no immediate yeses. You don’t owe anyone an instant response.

Your worth doesn’t live in how quickly or often you say yes.

Your power lives in your pause.

—

Curious about what it might feel like to live more freely—without the burden of constant yeses? I explore tools like this and more in my course, Breaking the Habit of People Pleasing. It’s a self-paced program with live weekly coaching calls to support your journey back to yourself.

🔗 Learn more and sign up here: https://www.breakthehabitofpeoplepleasing.com/

#BreakingTheHabitOfPeoplePleasing #RobynneWeaverCoaching

The Hidden Cost of Being “Nice”: Why People-Pleasing Isn’t Helping Your Career or Relationships

We’re taught early on that being helpful, flexible, and agreeable is the right way to earn belonging. Especially for women and folks socialized to care for others, people-pleasing can feel like second nature. But what happens when that instinct to keep everyone happy starts costing you?

In my work with high-functioning professionals—especially those in fast-paced industries like events, tech, and client services—people-pleasing isn’t about weakness. It’s a survival strategy. A way to reduce risk, maintain harmony, and avoid the discomfort of disappointing others.

But here’s the reality: What starts as a strength can become a cage.

What Is People-Pleasing, Really?

People-pleasing isn’t just saying “yes” a lot. It’s a nervous system response—often rooted in early experiences—where you abandon your own needs to keep connection or avoid conflict. It shows up in subtle ways:

• Saying “I’m fine” when you’re not

• Rewriting emails 10 times to sound “less direct”

• Apologizing for things that aren’t your responsibility

• Being the go-to emotional support person… even when you're depleted

It often feels easier in the moment. But over time, the cost adds up: burnout, resentment, decision fatigue, and a weakened sense of self.

A Shift That Starts With Awareness

The good news? You don’t have to make some grand declaration or start setting fire to your relationships. Breaking the habit of people-pleasing can begin quietly, with small, thoughtful shifts.

Here are three tools I teach in my workshops and coaching sessions:

1. The Pause + Check-In

Before you say yes to something—or default to “sure, no problem”—pause. Even just 10 seconds. Then ask:

What do I actually want right now?

It’s okay if the answer is, “I don’t know yet.” That’s data too. The goal is to reconnect with your own internal signals before making a people-pleasing move out of habit.

2. The “Let Them” Principle (from Mel Robbins)

Someone’s disappointed you set a boundary? Let them.
Someone’s confused that you didn’t respond right away? Let them.

You’re not responsible for managing other people’s reactions. Practicing this can feel uncomfortable at first —but it’s also incredibly liberating. The more tolerance you build for discomfort, the more authentic your choices become.

3. Rewriting the Narrative

Often, people-pleasing stems from outdated beliefs like:

• “If I say no, I’ll let people down.”

• “If I take up space, I’ll seem selfish.”

• “If I don’t fix it, no one will.”

Once we identify these stories, we can rewrite them into something more empowering, like:

• “Respecting my limits builds trust.”

• “It’s okay to need time, space, and rest.”

• “I can support others without abandoning myself.”

This is the heart of the work: reclaiming your voice and rewriting your story from a place of grounded self-trust.

Why It Matters Now

We’re in a cultural moment that’s asking for more authentic leadership—not just performance. And that requires us to examine the habits that have kept us small, agreeable, and exhausted.

My 4-week course, Breaking the Habit of People Pleasing, is a space to do just that—together. We unpack the roots of people-pleasing, practice nervous system-aware boundary setting, and build habits that support your leadership and well-being.

But whether or not you join the course, I hope you’ll take this away:
You don’t have to earn your worth through constant giving.
You don’t have to soften your brilliance to make others comfortable.
And you’re allowed to take up space—without apology.

📍Want to go deeper? Robynne’s self-paced online course and weeklu group coaching calls on Breaking the Habit of People Pleasing begins soon. Get the details here

#RobynneWeaverCoaching #BreakingTheHabitOfPeoplePleasing